Seriously, passwords. There are passwords for EVERYTHING! Everything needs a flippin password! I am not denying the fact that passwords are a necessity because some people out there just want to steal your password and then steal your stuff like your money. Or those sweet nudes your wife sent you one time when she was feeling saucy…you know, before having kids made her feel awful about her body…yeah, those. But oh my God(the real one because the G is capital) it’s damn near impossible to try and remember them all. Every time I have tried to log in and edit my blog, I have had to reset my password. Why? BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER IT! And heaven forbid you actually write your passwords down. No, no, can’t do that. The notion has been beat into our heads that the crackhead, derelict who is inevitably going to break into our house is going to steal the paper with our passwords written down and then steal all our cyber stuff(they are sweet nudes after all). Seriously? Because I’m sure as potential burglars are getting ready to break in, they’re having a conversation like this:
Burglar Crackhead #1 – “OK, we’re really going to do this. Once we break in, I’m going to go after the cash, and jewelry.”
Burglar Crackhead #2 – “Nice. And I’ll get the TV’s and video game systems.”
Burglar Crackhead #1 – “Wait! We almost forgot! Passwords! I can’t believe we almost forgot that…that’s the most important part! We need to find the piece of paper where they wrote down their passwords! That could have blown our whole master plan.”
So we obviously can’t write them down because of numbskulls(there’s a version of the Bible that actually has the word numbskull in it…random fact) like these. Next logical solution? Store them on the website when you use them right? NOPE! Hackers steal those too which leads to them stealing your stuff(do I really need to say nudes again?)
So apparently, we all just need to be Rain Man and be able to instantly recall all the different passwords for all the different websites and things in life where passwords are required.
“Passwords. Def..def…definitely passwords.”
Of course, there is probably already an App or something out there that will save all your damn passwords for you and I just don’t know about it. Although, hackers probably know how to hack that too and get your passwords already. I’m just going to inscribe them on the underside of my desk in some sort of weird code. Because if a robber is determined enough to crawl under my desk and decode my passwords, then by God(the real one again), he deserves it! Just don’t take the naked photos of my wife. I want to keep those.